Curvy and Confident: Let’s Talk About Plus Size Sex

Because everyone deserves good sex.

Are you holding back from fully claiming your sexuality because of your body size? You’re not alone. Body confidence can be hard to manifest at the best of times, never mind in the context of sex. But remember, no matter what size you are, everyone deserves to have a fulfilling sex life. Ultimately, we’re born as sexual beings, and sexual empowerment is something inside of us that we can all access. Here’s how.

Ahead, I’m sharing some simple steps you can take to help you feel empowered inside and outside the bedroom as a curvaceous woman. Keep reading for more.

Read more: 5 Ways to Feel Body Confident During Sex

Self Acceptance And Standards

Self-love is a lifelong journey, and I believe self-acceptance is the best place to start. Come to terms with the way your body is shaped and accept it for what it is. You might feel nervous about showing off your body to your current partner or a new lover, especially if you’re self-conscious. Your jiggly hips, soft belly, full breasts and dimpled thighs are all a part of you, and they are beautiful and sexy. I truly believe they should be unleashed in all their glory during sex! And I have no doubt your partner would agree wholeheartedly with me here.

Remember that your lover is showing up in the bedroom because they desire you and they want to be close to you. Don’t ever put yourself down for not being attractive enough (because it isn’t true!). If, for any reason, you ever get the sense that your lover is making you feel uncomfortable or if they are being disrespectful, they don’t deserve to have sex with you. Find someone that will make you feel special and cared for, and certainly don’t waste your time with someone who doesn’t see you as the beautiful person that you are. Sex and intimacy are all about those feel good chemicals after all.

Get Comfortable In The Bedroom

Your sex life is most likely a lot different to what you see on screen in the movies, which usually is portrayed as being passionate and visually effortless. Sex in real life is often awkward, so embrace it. It really is all trial and error! The most important thing is for you to feel comfortable.

To help with that, make sure to load up on the extra pillows. The additional support, whether to cushion your knees during oral sex or to bolster your back to reduce backache, is a game changer. You can also look into getting some accessories or lingerie to help you feel empowered and more confident. Certainly don’t be afraid to lift some skin to help you get into position. Remember, your lover is there to give you pleasure. Try to be open to receiving and don’t let fear get in the way.

Read more: Here’s How to Get Over a Dry Spell

Discover Your Desires

It truly helps to be honest with your partner about the way you feel in the bedroom and what you desire! I know we women rarely talk about what we like in the bedroom, and we expect our partner just to know. But it’s time to put your big girl pants on and get honest with what you like. Before you have the conversation with your lover, ask yourself first: What are my fantasies? What makes me feel good? What do I want more of, and what less? If you don’t have all the answers, that’s completely fine. I have a quiz that will help determine how you are erotically wired; this can give you some great insights that you may not have thought of before. Once you have clarity, you will be able to communicate your desires with more ease.

Just as important as expressing your sexual desires is having the confidence to let your lover know what you feel shy about, what makes you uncomfortable, and what, if any, body parts you don’t like having touched. Good sex requires a holistic approach. The more you know about each other, the more open, passionate and connected sex you’ll have.

Our bodies have amazing capabilities to give and receive pleasure, and no matter what your size, you deserve to enjoy that pleasure. By openly discussing your needs, embracing your body and choosing the right partner, you can experience satisfying sex. Just remember that you are a goddess, whatever body size you are.