Let me ask, do any of these ring true for you? You’ve just met someone and you’re secretly worried that they may not be attracted to you once you’re naked. Or maybe you have put on a couple of extra kilos, and you feel conscious about those extra jiggly bits. Perhaps you’ve been together with your partner for a while, and you worry that they may no longer be attracted to you because the novelty has worn off. And something I often hear from my clients is that they carry some shame around nudity from growing up. If any of these reasons resonate, I want you to know that you are definitely not alone.
Self-love is the key ingredient to an epic sex life. A great way to practice body self-love is when you take a shower. So, next time you have a shower I want you to start off by paying more attention to the sensations you are feeling when you are showering. For example notice how the warm water runs over your body, how the water is soft and playful the way it drips down your body. Feel how the water is nurturing your body.
When you step out of the shower, rather than quickly rubbing yourself dry, take the time to dry every part of your body and lovingly apply gentle pressure.
Even take the time to moisturise after your shower. Moisturising is something that makes your body feel nourished and leaves your skin feeling soft. Use nice long strokes and allow yourself to feel your skin and to feel sensation from your hands on your body. Finish the routine by taking a look at yourself in the mirror and seeing every part of your body, front and back, and instead of being critical, admire your body and give it thanks for being healthy, allowing you to walk through life and giving you bodily pleasure.
If you feel shame about your body, you may find ways to hide. Body shame can be painful and it can leave you feeling unworthy of connection and to be fully seen as the person you are. Shame then becomes debilitating, and it can hold you back from experiencing intimacy and pleasure. If this is the case for you, it’s definitely time to do something about it.
Try to remember that women who radiate confidence also radiate beauty. Take the opportunity to do something that makes you feel good in your body, whether it’s exercising, walking around naked in the house when you are home alone, wearing clothes that make you feel good and most importantly, practice self-love. It may also be helpful to dig a little deeper and try to remember where the shame is coming from and try to un-condition yourself from feeling shame.
Take your time to discover your body and find out what feels good. Get comfortable with yourself by touching and exploring different erogenous zones in your body. Don’t forget places like your neck, your ears, the back of your legs. Every woman is different when it comes to self-pleasure, it’s essential that you don’t compare yourself to anyone, or anything else. You are unique and so are your intimate parts and pleasure spots. Don’t be shy to explore how your sexual parts react to different touch; whether it’s fast, slow, rough, gentle. Do what feels right for you.
When you self-discover your body, be sure to set aside some alone time for this, because it’s time to focus on your pleasure and nobody else’s. Self Pleasure will bring confidence into the bedroom as it allows you to get more comfortable with your sexuality and your desires.
Knowing your Erotic Blueprint™ Type sounds rather interesting, right? This handy tool allows you to understand your desires and it provides you with compassion and understanding about your sexual needs and turn-ons. It shows you where to go, what to do and what not to do. It’s a guide that gives you information about skill sets you need to take things to the next level. It teaches you your erotic love language with which to communicate compassionately leading you to a clearer path to pleasure and more confidence in bed.
Just like a fingerprint, we all have a core Erotic Blueprint. Knowing, accepting and expanding your core erotic wiring can open new doors in your relationship with yourself and others.
Understanding your EBC allows you to feed and be fed. To touch and be touched in a way that honours your body and its desire in such a profound way that one’s body feels like it’s being seen and understood deeply. Take the quiz to discover your own Erotic Blueprint™Type.
Often, we can get caught up in our mind and worry too much about how we might look in bed and different sex positions. It’s essential that we allow ourselves to relax to get out of our mind. Some planning and preparation beforehand can be helpful. Try to set up the atmosphere in the bedroom so you can feel as relaxed and confident as possible. I am talking, fresh and soft sheets, scented candles, dimmed lights, soft music playing in the background. These are all things that can help you to relax. Maybe have a nice hot bath before and put on a set of lingerie or a piece of clothing that you feel comfortable and sensual in.
Also, be sure that all the chores and work stuff are sorted for the day, so your mind doesn’t wander to them in the middle of sex. That way, you can step fully into your body’s sensuality.
Sometimes all you need is to communicate with your partner about any insecurities you might feel. Maybe contact a professional so you can work through larger problems. In the meantime, approach your body and sex with confidence even on days when you aren’t feeling your best. If you act confident and overcome negative self talk, soon that attitude might just become ingrained, allowing you to have the epic sex you deserve.