Long-Distance Sex Tips From A Sex Coach

Long-distance sex tips to help you and your partner stay intimate from separate bedrooms.

The current pandemic has forced much of the world into lockdown and self-isolation. And while this helps to flatten the curve, it means a lot of us are feeling more alone than ever before (Alexa, play “All by Myself”). If you and your partner don’t live in the same flat, let alone the same country, it can feel like mission impossible to keep things intimate. Here are some long-distance sex tips that can help you keep your relationship hot while you and your partner are apart.

Read more: How To Create True Intimacy In A Relationship

Long-Distance Sex Tips To Stay Connected

The key to a healthy long-term relationship is great communication. If you’re living in different time zones you can’t expect to be constantly texting each other throughout the day. To avoid disappointment (and hours checking your phone to see if they’ve responded yet), set up a specific time in the day to video chat or talk over the phone.

During this time, you can talk about all the things you’ve had on your mind, share fond memories and attend to each other’s emotional needs. You can also use this time to explore your fantasies, sexual desires and things that turn you on. This is an incredible way to get to know each other more intimately.

This kind of deep and intimate communication can often get you feeling hot and ready to go, so it’s a good idea to brush up on your dirty talk. That way, you can keep each other’s sexual appetite whet until you can physically be together again.

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Mix And Match Your Communication Channels

There are plenty of different channels you can use to communicate with each other, without being limited to just WhatsApp and Facetime. While you’re likely to have a go-to preferred digital messaging service, try mixing it up with voice messages, short videos, emails and phone calls.

Don’t forget the old-fashioned forms of communication, too, as they can be incredibly sweet and romantic. Send a card, letter, gifts, sexy Polaroids, even handwritten erotic stories if you’re feeling creative! There are also apps like TouchNote which allows you to send personalised postcards and Loklok for digital doodles which can mix things up and make your messaging more fun.

Don’t be afraid to be a little silly and playful, maybe even throw in a few humorous gifs or memes. This can help to lighten the mood if your distance is caused by something like the current pandemic.

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Make Turning Each Other On A Game

A period apart is the perfect time to get creative and find sexy new ways to be intimate. Whatever you choose to do, remember the best sex – remote or in person – always starts in the mind. Try writing each other erotica and read it aloud, send lists of sexy instructions to follow, masturbate together or send the other person a link to porn they “have” to watch.

If you like the idea of sending naughty photos or videos, then you might enjoy this game. Send teaser photos of parts of your body (choose more innocuous parts like the nape of your neck or the fold of your lip, and other more risqué areas) and get your lover to guess which body part they’re looking at. If you are worried about your privacy or safety, take them without including your face and delete them from your device right after sending. You can also look into encrypted file-sharing services such as Signal, or messaging services that last for only 24-48hrs before being permanently deleted.

There are also a few apps that could help here. Kindu empowers couples to connect with each other by improving intimacy and exploring their desires, while Bliss – The Game for Lovers is a romantic game couples can play together with over 700 challenges to try.

Read more: Discover How To Fulfil Your Sexual Fantasies

Invest In Long-Distance Sex Toys

Thanks to modern technology, we now have sex toys that your partner can control remotely. Is it as good as having your partner nearby? Probably not, but at least they can feel more intimately involved in your sexual pleasure than ever before.

Brands such as We-Vibe, Vibease and Lovense offer sex toys that are perfect for long-distance relationships. Most of theses come with a Bluetooth connected app that allows one partner to control the toy from anywhere in the world, even giving them the power to change the speed and vibration pattern.

There is also a special kind of interactive toy called teledildonics, such as the Kiiroo Onyx and Pearl. These use smart technology so both partners can experience remote sex with real feelings of touch at the same time. These are great for couples who love having video sex with one another, as it allows you to watch the action and feel it too.

Read more: 6 Sex Toys To Help You Experiment In The Bedroom

Send Sexy Gifts And Resources

Sending sexy gifts and sharing resources is always a great thing to do with your partner every so often. If one or both of you are stuck at home under lockdown or quarantine, then these can be especially welcome. Send your partner some new lingerie or a roleplay outfit to model for you, buy an ethical porn subscription for the two of you to enjoy together, or simply share a sexy playlist on Spotify you’d like to masturbate with them to.

If you or your partner are isolated with other people, finding private, intimate time together to be on voice and video call can be a little trickier. If that’s the case, you might want to try sharing podcasts about sex and relationships (like the Better in Bed podcast), which is a great PG way to share something together.

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Use Time Apart As An Opportunity To Improve Your Sex

The key to keeping sex hot in a long-distance relationship, like any relationship, is time, effort and communication. Instead of focusing on the challenges of being apart, think of this time as an opportunity to miss your partner, plan and anticipate the next time you’re together, and fan the flames of your libido.

Furthermore, use distance as an opportunity to experiment and explore new sexual experiences that you’d otherwise never consider when physical sex is an option. It may ultimately help you forge a better emotional connection with your lover.

When you and your lover are reunited face-to-face, you might even find that your sex life is more exciting and hotter than ever before! Just remember, if you make it through this time, the both of you will surely forge a stronger bond than ever before.