My ADHD Journey — And Why I Wouldn’t Change A Thing

These days, every other person you meet is likely to have been diagnosed with ADHD. It’s become something of a buzz word — or dare we say it — a trend even. Aside from the expected symptoms, how does having ADHD affect everyday life, work and relationships? Here’s my story.

Neurodiversity is not only more accepted today, you might say it verges on being celebrated for giving people a unique edge. Who wants to be ordinary, right? While embracing the qualities that make a person different can only be a good thing, Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can be challenging to diagnose — with symptoms relatable to many — potentially leading to risky self-diagnosis as opposed to a professional assessment.

Diagnosed With ADHD Before It Was A Thing

I was diagnosed at the age of six. While it was clear to my teachers that I was intelligent, my inattentive behaviour meant I couldn’t stay focused during a lesson, or would have to re-read a page six times because I couldn’t focus on the words. While the hyperactivity made me popular with my classmates, I was hated by teachers. But it was so much more than just the stereotypical symptoms, I carried (and continue to) the challenges with me, even down to the way I speak. Growing up in the 1990s with ADHD, I was incredibly fortunate that my parents were able to identify my neurodivergence and seek out the necessary resources, (including a psychologist) which meant that I was properly and formally tested both at school and privately.  

During those years, learning disabilities were a foreign concept, and schools didn’t really know how to handle a student with ADHD. They saw it as a child acting out or seeking attention. Initially the school wanted to put me in special education classes, but my mum advocated for me, understanding that all I needed was more time and space to allow me to focus during assignments. As a result of her advocating for me, my confidence remained unchanged. 

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Getting Through School Unscathed…Sort Of

I’m grateful that my mum stood up to my schools, because if she hadn’t been my advocate during the early years, I never would have had the opportunity to continue on to honours and advanced classes. In my primary school years, I was often removed from class for being too disruptive, and forced to sit by myself outside for hours at a time missing lessons, and being isolated from my peers. My primary school teachers didn’t really understand how to deal with it and instead used disciplinary action. As more information became available over the years, my teachers eventually became more understanding —  never compassionate — but at least they were more tolerant.

While ADHD didn’t necessarily affect my social life, I was more fortunate than others in that I used my disorder to my advantage, being able to make jokes and entertain, but others I’ve seen weren’t that lucky, often ostracised from social settings and unable to read social cues. In elementary school, people thought I was funny and entertaining, and in high school, they wanted to know if I could get them Adderall! (Editor’s Note: Sassy does not under any circumstance condone giving your friends drugs!) I completely understand my situation was unique, and a sign of the times. You couldn’t get away with being pulled out of class and taken to another room today but also you wouldn’t be considered anything other than neurodivergent by teachers today.

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How ADHD Affects Work And Relationships

Having ADHD as an adult is a very different experience. As a kid, I had a routine and was medicated. I’ve found it harder as an adult because you become hyperaware of your behaviour, and consequently, I often wonder if I annoy everyone around me. What I thought was insecurity in my 20s is just what ADHD looks like in adults. 

Luckily, the nature of my job means that I have to be everywhere, at all times, so to a degree having ADHD is a tool I can use to my advantage. ADHD adults tend to do well in roles that require multitasking because we’re able to jump from one task or person to the next in a short space of time. However, I still struggle, often losing my train of thought when I’m having a conversation; I get there eventually, but it takes me longer. 

When it comes to relationships, my partner has known me for years and is used to me and all of my “quirks”. But with friendships, it can seem like I lack empathy, as ADHD adults often struggle with patience, irritability and impulse control. I also have trouble fully committing to friendships. In the same way ADHD adults become obsessed with a hobby, and are over it just as quickly, for me that applies to people too. People would be surprised how much of a struggle having ADHD can be if they knew that you’re battling your brain 98% of the time. They don’t understand that you can’t turn it off; it’s difficult to get through things; and it’s not procrastination — I literally can’t make it happen. 

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Neurodivergency In Hong Kong

I don’t think neurodivergency is widely accepted in Hong Kong, and as such, I haven’t really told anyone that I have ADHD. While it’s become a trend of sorts, I don’t think people necessarily understand what it means for the day-to-day. You don’t know how challenging it can be until you have struggled finishing a sentence because your mind has become completely distracted. I can’t sit through a movie without scrolling on my phone, not because I’m bored, but because my mind forces me to divert my interest.

In public settings, I have to sit in a certain way if I’m in a crowded place, or in an interview. I need to be seated in a way that means I can’t see everything and become distracted. My impulsivity means I find myself in dangerous situations in the city, like being unable to wait for traffic so I just create the space to walk into oncoming traffic. These challenges are hard for people to understand in Hong Kong, a place that highly values tradition, order and routine.

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Why I Wouldn’t Change Having ADHD

At times, having ADHD as an adult has made me feel self-conscious, and misunderstood, but just like anything else, you have to battle those demons. I wouldn’t change it as it’s made me an interesting person…I think. I still think I annoy everyone because that’s what I was told, so confidence takes work. I think most people would change it if they could, but I’ve been incredibly lucky to have immense support during a time when people couldn’t even tell you what ADHD stood for.

While my dad didn’t really understand ADHD and suggested I go to yoga, my mum was a fierce advocate and fought my schools, and ensured I was medicated and given the resources I needed to succeed. Every step of the way, I had access to private services, the best doctors and an excellent education but I completely understand, others have not been as fortunate. As a kid, I was so self-assured because of my circumstances, but I know that’s not the case for every child — I got really lucky and I am forever grateful for the opportunities I was given.

All the tips and tricks I created for myself to manage ADHD may not work for others. You need to be properly diagnosed by professionals, and equip yourself with the resources available. Like anyone else, there are days I wish I didn’t have to deal with this, but I’ve accepted this is who I am and will continue to ride whatever challenges come my way. The misconception about learning disabilities is that you will live in the shadow of others who are considered “normal”. People write you off as non-functioning, discredit you, and don’t believe you could possibly be successful, but the truth is that having ADHD not only helped me get to where I am today but has made me a better person for it.

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Getting A Professional Diagnosis

Dr Kimberly Chew, Principal Psychologist at AO Psychology, says that testing for ADHD is essential because it ensures accurate diagnosis, which forms the foundation for effective treatment. Furthermore, many symptoms of ADHD, such as inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity, overlap with other conditions like anxiety, depression and learning disorders. 

“Misdiagnosis can lead to ineffective interventions or unnecessary treatment. Early identification allows individuals to access tailored strategies, treatments, and accommodations, improving their quality of  life, academic or occupational performance and mental health outcomes,” says Dr Chew.  

ADHD testing can be performed by a psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, neuropsychologist, or  paediatrician. Dr Chew says the multi-faceted process involves gathering comprehensive information about  the individual’s developmental history and current functioning. It typically includes clinical interviews; behavioral questionnaires or rating scales; psychological testing; and observation.  

When it comes to treatment, Dr Chew says that medication is not a one-size-fits-all solution for ADHD. While stimulant medications like methylphenidate and amphetamines are highly effective for many, they aren’t for everyone. Factors such as age, severity of symptoms, medical history and preferences need to be considered when making the decision.  

Dr Chew says, “For some, behavioural interventions, counseling, and lifestyle changes (such as structured routines, physical activity, dietary considerations, sleep hygiene, mindfulness, relaxation techniques and support systems) may adequately address symptoms without medication. A comprehensive treatment plan, often combining medication and non-pharmacological strategies, tends to yield the best results. The decision should always be made collaboratively between the individual, their caregivers and healthcare providers.” 

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