25 July, 2018
Lifestyle

The Sex Series: Does the G-Spot Exist and How Do I Find it?

25 July, 2018

Sex educator and pleasure coach, Sara gives her expert advice on how to find your G-spot…

Ahhh, the elusive mysteries of the G! As with all good mysteries, it may take some time, patience and a little coaxing, but it could be immensely worthwhile once its unlocked.

Discovered by Dr Grafenberg in 1950, a urologist who clearly had a little too much time on his hands, the G-spot is highly sensitive area in the vagina. When stimulated the right way, it can lead to strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms and even, female ejaculation. Controversially, scientists still don’t agree on the G-Spot’s exact structure or location. One popular hypothesis is that its part of the larger internal clitoral network, and it contributes to the experience of vaginal orgasms. Other studies (often small and pitifully underfunded) suggest that there are many G-spots within the vagina, while still others say it’s not even a spot at all.

So what’s my take? If you ask me, these scientists seem to be a rather skeptical, ornery lot, and I wouldn’t want them seated around my dinner table, not to mention probing around in my vagina with a flashlight.

What I know is that there’s a little cluster of nerves inside the vagina with the potential to produce a lot of pleasure. And since I believe that all types of orgasms – G-spot(s) or otherwise – are awesome and there is absolutely no definitive way to experience sexual pleasure, it’s just a matter of finding whatever works for you. The science can catch up later.

Read more: How Do I Introduce a Sex Toy to a Partner?

Oh my GGGG!

I’ve met plenty of women who swear by the intense sensations produced by their G-spots, and for others, it is simply not a thing. So bear in mind, your mileage might vary. I personally compare the feeling of a G-spot orgasm to a deep, rumbling sensation, which gives more of a total body release than the quick-fire, roller coaster of a traditional clitoral orgasm.

But is a G-spot orgasm the holy grail of female sexual pleasure? No it isn’t, darlings. Although if you do manage to have one, it can still knock your socks off and leave you feeling extremely pleased with yourself. So why not get your lady parts map ready and go hunting?

G Marks the Spot

The first thing you need to know is that the mysteries of the G-spot reveal themselves much more readily once you’re already aroused, as your whole genital area fills up with blood and the G-spot along with it. My recommendation is to treat yourself to your favourite sexual fantasy and an orgasm or two before you start your search.

When finding the G-spot, fingers or specially-curved toys such as the LELO Gigi, We-Vibe Rave or the G-Kii by Je Joue are usually more suited to the task than the run-on-the-mill penis. Once you’re hot and bothered, you’ll want to lube up your digits or get a partner to help you with theirs. Insert one or two fingers palm facing up about 1 – 2 inches (exact depth and location will vary) inside the vagina and feel around on the front wall, so that’s the wall closer to your clitoris and belly button.

Curl your fingers up slightly. Think less of a fish hook, and more of a “come-hither” motion. You’re feeling around for a ridge or a “spot” that has a rougher texture when compared to the areas surrounding it. Some say it feels like the outside of a prune or a walnut. I liken it to how the roof of your mouth feels with your tongue versus the inside of your cheeks.

The Sex Series: Does the G-Spot Exist and How Do I Find it?

Stroke it like you mean it

After you’ve found the right spot, its time to massage and stimulate it with your fingertips. Unlike the clitoris that is more sensitive and requires a lighter touch, the G-spot responds to deep, repetitive pressure. Try a tapping motion, or pulse your fingers in and out of the vagina in rapid succession, but without losing contact from the spot.

One other tip is to use your other hand to apply some pressure softly to the abdomen right above your pubic bone. Or if you’re lucky enough to have a partner helping you who can multi-task, then have them flick their tongue over your clitoris at the same time, and you might be on your way to a knee-buckling blended orgasm. The thing is with the G, practice makes perfect. Don’t worry if it doesn’t float your boat the first time you find it. The more you stimulate it and incorporate it into your lovemaking, the more that area will fortify itself with nerves. So you might find your G-sensitivity increasing over time, and soon enough… G-spot bliss will be on your street!

Read more: How Do I Maintain the Sexual Spark in a Long-Term Relationship?

Positions to maximize G-pleasure

There are also some sexual positions that make it easier to stimulate the G-spot, should there be a penis involved. In each of these positions, you’ll want to tilt your pelvis to create a beneficial angle, such that the front wall of your vagina comes in direct contact with the penis.

Doggy-style is one of the most reliable positions for G-lovers. After getting on all fours, instead of the traditional table top position, you’ll want to rest your shoulders and head on the bed as much as is comfortable, and keep your bum in the air. Have your partner support your hips and thrust forwards to hit the spot.

Pretty much the same principle applies to a modified missionary position. Keep your hips angled and lifted off the bed with the help of a few well-placed pillows or by placing your legs on your partner’s shoulders. Or, get on top and saddle up cowgirl style, while arching your back towards your partner’s toes. Rock back and forth to apply as much pressure as you need to that sweet spot. Ride the wave, while you consider the mysteries of the G – solved!

Lusting after more sound advice? Listen to Sara’s podcast, Better in Bed, available on iTunes, Spotify and YouTube!

Thanks to the talented Miranda Sheppard for all of the cool illustrations above! As an Art Director, Miranda has worked in the fashion, beauty and lifestyle industry at Harper’s Bazaar in Sydney, and Seventeen Magazine in New York City – specialising in couture and customised illustrations. Follow her on Instagram @mazzyshepps and Facebook at www.facebook.com/miranda.sheppard.752

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