Celebrate the start of Happy Valley’s racing season in style!
The Happy Valley races are back, and I’m excited to win my millions. Because, despite what everybody says, that is totally plausible on a $20 bet… So come on, girls, clear your social calendar and sashay on down to Happy Valley Racecourse! This season, the races started on Wednesday, 6 September, 2017, and you can once again admire the surrounding skyscrapers, secure a cold beverage in your hand and plan out your future millionaire lifestyle. And all for a mere $10 entrance fee. What better way to spend a Wednesday evening, hey?
Now, onto the important bit: my top tips for unstoppable success in the betting world. Sure, they may not have brought me the greatest success so far, but I’ve got a really good feeling about this season (and a really strong desire for a Central penthouse, too). Feeling confident? Fantastic, let’s get to it:
1. Choose horses with pretty names and brightly coloured jerseys. This one is for all the betting pros. Good odds help, but aesthetically pleasing ponies are definitely the way forward.
2. Dress down. This isn’t Royal Ascot. There isn’t a top hat or a fancy frock in sight, so ditch the high-end fashion and choose an outfit that’s suitable for the swift, and inevitable, post-races trip to Wan Chai’s Ladies Night. After all, who can refuse a free G&T?
3. Don’t even attempt to fill in the betting slips. You may think you’ve mastered it after a couple of visits, but it’s far more likely that you’ll just end up filling in the wrong one. Obviously, Sod’s law will come into play and the horse you think you’ve bet on will win. But, in reality, you’ve actually managed to put your money on the loser because the little boxes on the slip are too close together. If you hang around looking confused, someone will normally do it for you. So save yourself the heartbreak. Trust me.
4. Beer is the drink of choice at Happy Valley. Luckily, there are about twenty different tents to choose from. Prices are actually quite reasonable, too, which makes losing your money a lot easier to swallow. Try not to get cocky three hours in and buy a jug, because it will go warm within five minutes. Stick to the pints.
5. Be wary of celebrating too hard when your horse wins. Hold back on the champagne. You might get to the desk and be presented with your winnings which total a mere 20 cents. I speak from experience. Does that even count as a win? I don’t think so.
Happy betting, ladies! Just remember to bet and drink responsibly… see you there!