The Dating Game: V-Day

Happy Valentine’s Day, b*tches. That sentiment is only for all you loved up chicas out there. I hate you all just a little bit. Just kidding… I don’t really, I’m happy you’re all loved up.

Honestly, I’m an independent woman, yet I still crave the love and attention of a man, with the flowers and poncy dinner that comes on V-day. I’m mature enough to realise that it’s a commercialised holiday thanks to bloody Hallmark, I’ve had a nose around popular online flower retailers and discovered bouquets retailing for $1,000 and up… stupid money. That said, I still want to be treated good… who doesn’t want chocolate and flowers?!

That being said, I’m adamant not to turn into one of those women who needs to be kept sweet at all time. However, if a hunky man resembling Ryan Gosling or Reynolds (I really have no preference) wanted to surprise me with chocolate truffles and a spa day at The Peninsula, I’m not going to turn that down.

Clearly, I’m emotionally bipolar when it comes to this holiday. And this year, it falls on a Saturday, too, which is typically reserved for date night anyway. So what have I got planned for the big day? Sweet nothing. At this point, I’m swinging between sitting at home crying into a tub of ice-cream while watching a Kate Hudson rom-com marathon to putting on a slutty dress to go dancing with my girls on a “screw all you awful men, I’m better than you anyway” situation. Regardless, both will involve my five-a-day… five glasses of wine a day.

My ever-so-mild hatred of this day stems from an experience a long, long time ago, in a land far, far away. Settle down for story time, kids. I was 12, he was 15. We had young entrepreneur groups set up around school for Business Studies projects, one which was taking orders of roses for V-day and delivering them to students within school. I stupidly thought it was a good idea to let him know I was crazy in love with him by doing just that. After all, it was only $20 for a single rose, what did I have to lose?

Only my dignity.

The morning of, I just happened to be walking by his classroom when he received the rose I sent him (with a card and my name). He caught my eye through the window and promptly dropped the rose on the floor, stepped on it, picked it up and put it in the bin.

My. Heart. Broke.

But in true Ms. Sassy fashion, I remained composed and kept going about my day, not saying a word to anyone. He didn’t deserve this girl, not one inch of her. It took this pretty lady a long time to come to terms with that, but hey ho, I’ve lived to see many other uninteresting and unexciting Valentine’s Days.

So, whichever camp you’re in, loved up or single lady, I’ve got tips for both. Take it from this expert (maybe, although not really…) and you’ll have a good Valen-time. See what I did there? Totally inspired by greeting card companies.

For the loved up: Don’t ignore the holiday. If you’re a gal and feel like your hints are just not getting anywhere, I’m going to burst your bubble right now. Men are dense. Tell ‘em out right what you’re after. Tell them you want to celebrate. Tell them you want to celebrate in a big way or a small way so he knows what to plan. For the guys, if your gal has super high expectations, break up with her. Okay, don’t, but be honest with her and tell her what you can or can’t afford to do. You can still go big but on a budget. She’ll appreciate the sentiment more.

For the single ladies: Don’t be down in the dumps. The worse thing you can do is be that girl who sits at home eating an individual pizza (that you’re justifying as really healthy because it has green peppers on it). Plan something with a few of your other single gal pals, even if it’s a pot luck dinner at home. This holiday is about love and there’s nothing wrong with celebrating that with the girls that you love! Tell you BFFs how much you admire and appreciate them – everyone wants to feel treasured, after all.

’Til next time, you Sassy bunch.

Ms. Sassy’s dating tip for the month: Don’t worry, be happy. Or if you need a pick me up, hit the CNY sales and buy yourself something pretty.