11 things I’ve learned as a Hongkie

1. No matter how old you are, the thought of a typhoon signal 8 or black rainstorm warning has you squealing with joy.

2. Avoid Admiralty like the plague from 5-7pm on a weekday. Nobody wins, least of all you if you’re in a rush. You WILL have to wait for no less than four trains.

3. Avoid Central during lunch hour. People traffic is most definitely a thing.

4. The best thing to eat at 4am is Hong Kong-style French toast. Or char siu fan (BBQ pork fried rice). Or cheung fan (rice rolls).

5. Doot your way through life with your ba daat tong (Octopus card). It’s like paying for things with free money.

6. In a city where everyone slogs stupidly hard and long hours, life outside the office carries on well after 6pm. You can get sh*t done from the hours of 7-10pm.

7. It is true what they say. Adults can and do buy Happy Meals just for a toy. Just take a look at the dashboard of your next cabbie’s taxi – bobbleheads and toys galore. And, for some reason, an abundance of smartphones.

8. HKers are always ready to make a buck. I regale you with this story: after spending one hour indoors at a Zumba class, I emerged from the building to discover that in that time the heavens had opened up and it was chucking it down. With no umbrella on me, I popped into the store next door, a popular cosmetics chain, and went to buy a folding umbrella. It was $120 for the umbrella on its own or $60 if I bought something else with it. I chose to pay $68 for a brolly and a pack of gum I’d never chew because I had more financial sense than that.

9. The climate is considerably milder than, say, anywhere in Europe and North America, yet we’ll still complain incessantly about how hot or cold it is. Jeans will still be worn by locals in the peak of summer and everyone must waddle around layered up in winter, which makes for an amusing sight at the bus stop.

10. The best view of the harbour is from the Star Ferry, hands down. Or maybe Ozone at the top of the Ritz-Carlton, provided someone else is paying for your drink.

11. Speaking of, Club 7/11. Enough said.